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Don't let the tickle in your tongue, leave scars on your child's mind and soul


"Don't let the tickle in your tongue, leave scars on your child's mind and soul"

Authored by: Sehar Siddiqui

Parenting is a challenging phase of life, and I am sure most of us have had our own highs and lows. It’s okay to be angry, it’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to be tired, but it’s NOT okay to be rude! NOT okay to be harsh!

Using harsh words, negative comments do not only lower a child’s self-esteem but harms their psychological and emotional balance as well.

According to some recently conducted studies, “Parents who use harsh words when disciplining their teenage children may be doing just as much harm as if they physically abused them.”

We as parents/ educators should motivate the children and give them a nutritious atmosphere to seek learning from every opportunity rather than weakening their roots with harsh words.

“It’s a vicious circle,” Wang says. “And it’s a tough call for parents because it goes both ways: problem behaviours from children create the desire to give harsh verbal discipline, but that discipline may push adolescents toward those same problem behaviours, “commented Ming-Te Wang, assistant professor of psychology in education at the University of Pittsburgh.

Building self-esteem goes a long way in giving each child stronger roots and a well -rounded personality.

The logic behind appreciating your child goes like this: The kid does good (or good enough for me), so I make him feel great about himself. It automatically boosts their self-esteem and gives them confidence to do more and better.

We have all heard about the tribe that uses verbal abuses to kill a tree. Today I wish to share another story, The Swedish furniture giant IKEA , uploaded a video on Youtube , which was a social experiment.

The live experiment involved IKEA taking two of its very own plants and installing them at the school, where one plant was fed compliments and words of encouragement, while the other was verbally bullied with hateful words. The students were encouraged to record their own voices to share their love with the first plant and give words of criticism to the second, either first hand or via social media interaction. After 30 days, the results spoke for themselves – while the complimented plant continued to thrive, the bullied plant was visibly struggling, and looking dull with droopy brown leaves.
Both plants were treated strictly the same: with the same amount water, exposed with of sunlight, water and fertilizer. The only difference being, we said words of criticism to one plant, and words of encouragement to the other, for a span of 30 days. By the end of the experiment, the impressive results spoke for themselves.

Similarly as parents, educators and part of educational fraternity it is our responsibility to ensure that "Humaray nanhay taaray khoo naa jaayein iss zameen par"

So let us stop instructing and begin sharing!

The magic will unfold and you will see a happier child.

Let us give them a happy beginning which is a prelude to a happier tomorrow and a better childhood.


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